Resistances to allowing your Higher Self to be real (continued):
7. Being afraid of intimacy: Perhaps the most poignant reason people want to keep their Higher Self as an idea or a meditative technique rather than allowing them to be the real, living, loving consciousnesses that they are, is because of their fears of intimacy. Many people will love with abandon, but when it starts to become intimate – close, tender, vulnerable and trusting – that’s when they hightail it out of there. “I love to love, it’s just that intimacy stuff that terrifies me. I don’t want to get that close. I don’t want to be that tender. I don’t want to be vulnerable by opening up and sharing the deepest parts of myself – my secrets, wounds and shames; my strengths, powers and talents. I don’t want to tell someone else my inner most thoughts or heart-felt dreams for fear that I’ll be humiliated. What if they laugh at me? What if they judge me? And I’m afraid to trust. I trusted before and was really burned; I don’t ever want to experience that again. Sure, I’ll love as long as I don’t have to be close, tender, vulnerable and trusting – as long as I don’t have to be intimate.”
This fear of intimacy applies to relationships with other people, as well as with your Higher Self. If you’re afraid to be intimate with others then most likely you’ll also be afraid to be intimate with your Higher Self, even though they will never humiliate, judge or hurt you. Your Higher Self will never abandon, betray or deceive you in any way. They are 100 percent trustworthy. Your Higher Self has total integrity and character, and is completely responsible. They know everything there is to know about love and intimacy and do both beautifully. Again, they are the you that is a piece of the Divine. They are Love.
Being intimate with another, whether that’s a human being or your Higher Self, is scary and that’s okay. All genuine success involves some level of fear and real intimacy is a very high level of success. There are few things more rewarding in life than to be close, tender, vulnerable and trusting with another. When intimacy is genuine, it actually creates a profound level of safety.
To allow your Higher Self to be real, and therefore the beneficiary of all that they have to offer, it’s important to move beyond your resistance, whether it’s the seven listed above or your own unique variations. But even if you don’t, your Higher Self will still love you without condition. And without condition means exactly that – they love you no matter what. There is nothing you can do to earn your Higher Self’s love for you and there’s nothing you can do to lose it. Like the Divine’s love for you, it is a gift, not a reward. Rewards are earned, but gifts are received.
You can choose to hold your Higher Self as only an interesting idea or a meditative technique and they will still love you. But if you’re willing to dare, if you’re willing to move beyond your resistance and allow your Higher Self to be the living, loving, unique consciousness that they are, there are no words to describe the magic and miracles that can unfold. This is your Higher Self, your higher consciousness, the piece of divinity that you truly are in the wholeness of your being. When you connect, the sense of coming home to yourself is unfathomable.
Ways to develop an intimate relationship with your Higher Self
I’ve created a very beautiful guided meditation, Connecting with Your Higher Self that is designed to help you develop an intimate relationship with your Higher Self. In this meditation, your Higher Self appears in a personified form. As I said earlier, they don’t have a form, it is beyond form, but that is very difficult to relate to so in meditation they take on a human form – usually female if you’re female and male if you’re male. In the meditation, the two of you will spend some time together under a starlit night, talking, connecting and just getting to know one another. And if you already know your Higher Self, you’ll have the opportunity to get to know one another even better. In fact, as with all meditations, the more you repeat the experience, the more powerful it becomes.
In addition to this meditation, here are four more ways develop an intimate relationship with your Higher Self. You don’t have to do them all. Pick and choose what feels right to you.
1. Talk and ask: To develop a relationship with your Higher Self that is real and intimate, talk to them. Tell them why you are afraid of intimacy – there’s magic in the telling. Any time you talk to someone about your fears with the intent of releasing them, magic happens. This is even truer with your Higher Self because of the love that they have for you. And this isn’t about confessing, it’s not like you’re entering a confessional; this is about talking with a friend, a close friend who loves you dearly. Let yourself share your thoughts and feelings around why intimacy scares you. Your Higher Self will listen and they will talk with you too. It doesn’t matter whether you hear them clearly or not, the energy will be exchanged and according to your rhythm, to your pattern, it will become conscious. After you’ve shared why intimacy scares you, then ask your Higher to heal and dissolve your fears. They will readily say yes.
Also, talk with your Higher Self about why you might resist developing an intimate relationship with them. Is it because you lack a clear boundary between you and your negative ego? Or because you’ve been taught to only give weight to things that you can see, hear, smell, touch and taste? It is it because you want the approval of the consensus reality or if not the entire consensus, then someone within your personal reality that you know doesn’t believe in the Higher Self? Do you want to hang onto trying to control or are you afraid of the responsibility if your Higher Self is real? Is it the accountability and consequences or some other reason? Talk to them, share. Again, your Higher Self won’t judge or criticize you. They only love, understand and have compassion for you. After you’ve shared your resistance, ask for healing, in your best interest with harm to none. Your Higher Self will readily, joyfully agree.