Whatever pain you’re experiencing right now isn’t your fault.
No matter what you did, or didn’t do, you didn’t choose to be in pain. Nobody does. The problem is that when people are in pain they often blame themselves, which just makes everything worse. They don’t realize that that’s the nature of pain, that pain makes you feel like you’ve done something wrong and it’s your fault. That pain makes you feel like you’re to blame and deserve to be punished. That pain can even go so far as to make you feel like you’re unworthy, undeserving and unlovable. But that’s just the pain speaking. It’s not true. This pain isn’t your fault. You’re not to blame.
Because self-blame is so pervasive, it’s sometimes helpful to make a list of everything you think you did done wrong as it relates to your pain. Then look at your list and ask yourself, “Was that my intention, to create pain for myself? Did I choose this result?” No. Even if you made a lot of mistakes, your goal wasn’t to create pain. You’re human and human beings make mistakes. But that doesn’t mean you deserve to be in pain, ever.
When you can truly internalize that whatever pain you’re experiencing isn’t your fault, then you put yourself into a position where you can heal it. One way to do that is to ask for help, to put your request out there: “I ask for healing of my pain, in my best interest with harm to none.” Then look for the help. Perhaps a friend will call out of the blue or you’ll see a blog on the Internet or a commercial on TV. Maybe an idea will come to you as you’re taking a shower or a coworker will say something without realizing that they’re speaking to your pain. Maybe you’ll take a walk in nature and the beauty will touch you in a way that changes something inside your heart. Or perhaps without the weight of the blame you’ll suddenly feel a bit more of the love that’s always surrounding you, just waiting to be let in.
When you ask for help and open yourself to receiving by ending the self-blame, whatever you need to heal your pain will come.