When we honestly believe we can create what we want, it makes it much easier to let go of what isn’t working in our life.
What we feed our attention to grows. When we don’t think we can create what we want, we will often keep trying to fix something that in our heart we know we need to release. For example, let’s say we’re in a romantic relationship that isn’t working despite our best efforts to change it. Rather than letting this relationship go and learning whatever we need to learn to create a better one, we often keep struggling and suffering, trying to force something that is never going to happen because deep down we don’t believe we can do any better.
Or perhaps we’re in a dead end job without any possibility of promotion in our company. Rather than getting our resume together and taking whatever steps we need to take to secure a better job, we often keep trying to force the issue, continuing to feel frustrated and perhaps even unappreciated because again, deep down we don’t believe we can do any better.
Not believing we can do any better – not believing we can create what we want – results in continuously feeding our attention to what isn’t working, which makes it grow, along with whatever suffering and misery we’re experiencing with it. But we can change this at any time, no matter how long it’s been going on or how entrenched or powerless we’ve felt. Bottom line, we are holding a faulty belief, a faulty belief that is driving our action or inaction. A faulty belief that says that we can’t do any better, that we can’t create what we want.
But beliefs are just opinions held with conviction. They’re not truths with a capital “t” and often they aren’t even ours – they were given to us by the authority figures we had growing up. This means that we can change what we believe at any time. It’s in our hands. It’s our choice and only our choice what we choose to believe now. So how do we change what we believe? One very powerful method:
- Recognize and own that we’ve been holding a faulty belief. In this case, “I can’t create what I want” or “I can’t do any better”.
- Let it be okay that we’ve held this faulty belief – we’re human and we’re here to learn. We’re not supposed to have all the answers. There will be times in our lives, for the rest of our lives, when we’ll do things that aren’t in our best interest and that’s okay. That’s exactly as it should be. Life is about learning, not perfection; perfection has no soul in it.
- Choose what we would rather believe. In this case: “I can create what I want” or “I can do better” (whichever we prefer or select them both).
- Then think about three past experiences in our life that support this new belief. In this case, remember three times in our life when we wanted something and we created it for ourself or when we “did better”. Detail these experiences, really let them come alive.
- Feed this new belief with our attention by 1.) Keeping these three experiences alive by remembering them frequently and owning, “Yes, I did that!” 2.) Writing the new belief on several post its and then placing them wherever we’ll see them frequently. Each time we see our new belief, pause and really feel it, including what’s possible now – feel the inspiration, the happiness, the hope, the enthusiasm.
- Begin “acting as if” this new belief is real for us right now. Contemplate: what actions would a person take if they knew that they could create what they wanted? If they knew that they could do better?
- Take these actions, beginning with the easiest ones first.
We truly can create what we want. We truly can do better. And we’ve already done it many times – everyone has. We just need to believe that when it comes to the things that aren’t working in our life. To stop feeding them our attention and instead focus on what we want to create, to focus on how we want to do better. And we deserve it – we deserve the very best that life has to offer just because we breathe.